This week marked the start of yet another break in school attendance just before the winter term leading up to the Christmas break. I approach it with mixed apprehension as always for not only do I have to divide my time with keeping an eye on the domestic front that is carrying three ladies who are seeking to fill every moment of their time away from school with exciting adventures, I also have to keep an eye on the work front. It has been a mixture of all sorts on the work front…not in the least sedate.
Whilst on my break at the office, I decided to look into booking some tickets for the Halloween night at our local theme park – Thorpe Park. The youngest of the girls had been begging me for weeks to purchase a yearly ticket as this would enable her to attend as and whenever she wanted.
She wanted the yearly ticket so much she had even offered I give her this as a present instead of a birthday party which she decided she was going to have next January. Only of course, I was not privy to this arrangement; I am merely informed and should provide the funds to facilitate it happening. Whilst I would definitely consider the suggestion as being worth, I wanted to use her new need as leverage to get her to tidy away her items of clothing amongst all else she is into these days and has taken to depositing anywhere and everywhere there is space in the house. In response to being asked to tidy or clean up, I often get inaudible and unintelligible mumblings. At times she will tell me “soon” or “later” when prompted to tidy away or clean up any mess she has made. I believe there is a dictionary explanation, one which I have yet to learn or explained to, which equates these two [soon/later] words to an action that never materialise without me the parent resorting to removing privileges as a prompt. As it were – I made a deal: if she were to keep up to a routine of tidying up her stuff in addition to cleaning up any mess she made, I would get the yearly tickets. Let’s just say, the yearly tickets are still an idea in the sales ledger.
After finding that getting a group booking for the theme tickets was cheaper overall, I rung home to advise the girls to round themselves up in to a sizeable group along with their friends so that we could arrange a group booking. Sadly this resulted in all various issues that I’m not even going to get into right now. Safe to say, they all agreed the idea for Halloween escapades at Thorpe Park were not going to be happening this year. After talking to the youngest girl, I decided the best way forward would be to arrange a family event instead which we could all attend and advised her of this. Unfortunately, the most appealing event to the whole family didn’t come cheap and neither were any spaces left for the half term week. Still it would be an early Christmas family present….or so I thought!
The middle daughter was the only one in the lounge along with mom at the time of my return home this evening. She was busy chatting on the laptop with her girlfriends – sometimes the laptop takes over where the phone leaves where she is concerned. She is so attached to her mobile that even when she is not taking a call, she will hold the handset to her ear whilst talking to you in person. However, lo behold, the chat on the laptop must have been quite riveting, she actually had the mobile resting on the table and had not noticed my return until much later when I headed out to the kitchen. Even then it was in an after thought to the plans she appeared to have been busy concocting on the computer because the first thing she asked me was if I could lend her some money. Now this is something that I not only find irritating but amusing somewhat. A person who is not even in employment nor has any savings, asking you to lend him/her money. How, might one ask; are they planning on repaying it back? Baffling how the language of communicating is being constantly attacked.
Seeing as I’d just placed a large payout on a family event and my accounts for the month were tightened already, I resisted the first urge of simply saying “No”. From past experience such an answer leads to a prolonged dance of whining “whys” ..or “ its just so unfair” coupled with bizarre reasoning on her part and quite frankly, I was so tired I needed a breather before I could go for another round with parenting skills which had become frozen from the commute home. After the warmth had spread inside me, I attempted to listen to her reasoning – which didn’t improve even with the cup of tea inside of me. Ok – you help me out here. She wanted to borrow… no okay, like I give her money which she can repay in doing chores around the house for me (i.e. clean her room, tidy away stuff, oh and wash her dishes up) so she and a couple of friends could go dinner. Details of which were sketchy – and I am asking myself: what kind of dinner do teenage kids get at £20/head and where was the venue? It’s a hotel… A friend can get them booked in and that way they all get to hang around there without inconveniencing any of their parents’ homes. She sulks and says she will find a way to get the money as she feels embarrassed that she had already “flopped” the Halloween theme park thing and does not want to look bad to her friends after promising them something else.
You are probably thinking, why don’t I let her come hang around the house with her mates to avoid the expenses and the “hotel” booking…I’m still not convinced about the hotel by-the-way and I’ve told her to forget that idea for now… I want to meet this so-called friend first and we take it from there. Instead she is also to go check out some gym and pool clubs as social venues with her friends and let me know – the hotel idea is not even lukewarm with me and as her mom, I will have the last word on that. The reason I wouldn’t let her bring her friends around the house for a sleep-over is because of past broken rules. This particular daughter has issues with giving exact numbers of friends she says she is bringing over for a sleep-over. This also happens to stray to gender. From experience two friends in her dictionary equate 6 persons and she is unable to differentiate between genders. It’s the norm for her to have boys mixed in with girls someway during the course of the sleepover night so your house ends up like a hostel for teens. So with the mathematics and gender being done in her minds understanding, it’s anyone’s guess that she will turn up with 20 friends or more, when she told you she was having 5. This is why I put a stop to sleep-over gatherings. On occasion she appears to understand my take – on other days, she simply hates my guts for not seeing things her way although she is respectful enough not to voice it or tell it to my face. It’s her younger sister who holds no bars to letting rip.
The youngest being 13 is at that stage in life when she hates each and everyone at any given moment with a passion and will scream it at you threatening to run off etc as an end to her tantrums. Her smart mouth often gets many of us so angry that we wonder how we get through her tantrums. She is the typical nursery rhyme character of that little girl with a curl…when she is good she is so good, and when she is bad, she is absolutely horrid! I am actually quite proud that the middle girl has matured enough to not be drawn in physical battles with her anymore. My prayers are not going in vain… there is a God up there keeping me from committing blue murder. As I prepare to rest this body and head of mine, I pray that my middle daughter gets past this phase of socialising like the world depends on it! May she be able to find gym workouts to be more of a benefit seeing as she is adamant she does not wish to go to the teen social club? She appears to have strong views about this as she says; she has enough friends and does not wish to make any more which she feels social clubs are about. Can someone explain to me, why is it that some teens would rather hang out within their chosen group, watching movies, eating pizzas and basically just sitting around as opposed to getting involved in physical activities? Oh and she will not do swimming – it ruins her makeup and hair…
Perhaps the question before is something I should post out as a status on one of them social networks as opposed to putting it to myself in this blog…